Super long post that you shouldn't bother to read but I'll put it here for memory' sake

If I had the internet at my fingertips all this time

We’re on the bus right now on our way to Belgium from London. Obviously, Lion and I have failed our objective of updating our blog to inform the world of our trip through Europe. I myself had a lot to say, but most of the time I cannot, or will not, update my  blog.

Luckily Lion and I have written some of our stuff down on the back of a Cadbury Dairy Milk Chocolate BUBBLY™ cardboard wrap, and the rest have been filmed down on a vlog.

If I had the internet at my fingertips, these are the posts which I would have written. It’s a lot, so I’m gonna chuck in a content list in there.

1.       Some unnecessary performances

Today, I went to the ABRSM High Scorer’s Performance and my piano teacher’s recital.

The first one was definitely worth going to. I heard some of the best musicians in Auckland perform, and I also met a couple of people I hadn’t seen in a very, very long time. The music was duh shiz and it was real good.

There were performances from all instruments from all grades and levels. I noticed how one teacher accompanied a lot of the vocal performers, so I think that lady’s really good at teaching vocals or something. There was this girl who I’d guess was around 7 or 8 years old, and she got into the High Scorer’s Performance for both vocals (grade 3) and piano (grade 4). Her singing was the best I’ve heard from anyone that age. She had a nice, strong opera voice, and she’d hit all the notes. She was always in tune and she announced every syllable and vowel perfectly.

There wasn’t actually as many piano players there as I’d expected, and I was only 1 out of 2 grade 8 pianists there. I totally expected more.

I had to then go to my piano teacher’s recital. It was at St Luke’s Methodist Church. Now, you see, there’re two St Luke’s Methodist Church in Auckland – one in North Shore, and another one in Remuera 10 minutes away from the ABRSM concert. I totally thought it was the one in North Shore, so we drove from EGGS there, then after ringing my teacher discovered that it was actually back in Remuera.
I spent the next hour listening to shit Grade 1 and 2 music. I was originally gonna be the last one performing, but I’d asked to go earlier ‘cause I needed to go have dinner and go to the airport. So I just played and went home to do some last minute packing.
Personally, I think that recital was bullshit and a total waste of time. Shouldn’t have bothered going at all.

2.       Cock-ups and Screw-ups

I am the world’s definition of a retard. I’ve cocked up 5 times and I still haven’t stepped onto the plane yet. First off, after I got back home after the recital, I was doing some last minute packing, and was about to leave when I realised I hadn’t packed my shades.

So I spent the next 15 minutes running around the house trying to look for my designer shades, but in the end I didn’t find it and I just went without it.

As we were driving to the restaurant, I realised that my watch wasn’t working. Actually, I’d found out quite a while ago, but it hadn’t clicked in my brain till then that a watch that wasn’t working wouldn’t be of much use. Thing was though, I was wearing my perfectly multifunctional digital watch, and decided to switch to my prettier analogue and non-functional Swatch. Smart, eh? We tried to find some batteries at Countdown next to the airport, but they were all either too big, or too small.

When I stepped out into the cold, night air at the airport carpark, I was immediately freezing cold. Ok, maybe not THAT cold, but it was still pretty darn cold. So, in the airport, I decided to grab my thermals. Whilst doing so, I stepped onto the really nice and pricy wooden nametag on my suitcase. It broke, and now I’m left with an AirNZ paper nametag.

Then I realised I didn’t have a lock on my suitcase. I’d brought my laptop, and it was inside my suitcase without a lock. Mum and Lion had brought one, so I just chucked mine in theres’. Still, it was pretty noob.

At customs, I was shit scared. I’d screwed up so much already, and I had a sinking feeling that I was gonna cock up again at the metal detecting place. I had my lash curler in my bag – probably not a good idea. There were some beeping and stuff when I walked through the metal detecter and OMG IT WAS SO SCARY but all good they just checked me with though hand held detecting thingy and I was clear. Then this lady called me over to her and OMG I WAS SO SCARED but alg she was just taking a swab of my bag to check that it didn’t have any potentially lethal chemical on it.

3.       I am so bored

Waiting in the airport atm, zzzz. Customs was scary. Playing fruit ninja with Lion and getting pwned. There’re these really funky looking pods where you can just sit in it and be snug and comfy and have a lot of privacy. It blocks out a lot of sound, too.

Also, the toilets are really fancy and when you stand up after doing your business IT FLUSHES ITSELF FOR YOU!

4.       SO LONG, SUCKERS

Boarding the flight for LONDON. WOO

5.       I’m too young to die

I hope everyone has their electronics turned off, ‘cause we’re taking off now and I am really, really, scared.

6.       The entertainment system on the plane

Sucks.

7.       How do you sort your music?

The new iPad system changed the music app, but one thing they haven’t changed it the ability to add songs to any playlist from the main songlist. Sorting it out it pretty hard.

8.       I just watched

Shot in the dark. It’s a murder mystery comedy thing, with INSPECTOR CLUSEAU, the idiot. Pretty funny, but weird. I still prefer Pink Panther.

9.       The food on the plane

Is awesome.

10.   I am still too young to die

The turbulence is crazy on this plane, and I am very worried for my life. The captain just spoke to us and told us to sit in our seats and clop on our seatbelts and that we’re just going through some turbulence. I was praying hardout, then.

11.   Worst, seat, ever

I reclined my chair backwards to try and go to sleep, but an ignorant, selfish, old Chinese lady (yea, those stereotypical ones) shoved it so I put it back up. When I tried to recline it again, she was complaining and shit in Chinese. It’s so hard to get to sleep and for an hour or so Lion and I were trying to squeeze ourselves in a nice, comfy position to snooze. Right next to me, this girl had all 3 winder seats to herself, and she was having a nice sleep lying down properly. ME SO JELLY. Finally, after the lady behind me fell asleep, I took my opportunity and reclined my seat and tried to get some sleep. SO UNCOMFORTABLE zzzzzzzzz…

12.   I am way too young to die

Woke up to uncomfyness and a violently shaking plane. I am so scared. How bad is this turbulence?

13.   Weak bladder

According to Lion, I’ve been 6 times since the restaurant. 1ce at the restaurant, 2ce at the airport, and 3ce in the plane. He kept count :O

14.   Finally

A nice comfy position to sleep in. Got woken up though for breakfast. Sausages, baked bean and scrambled eggs – YUM.

15.   I am awfully sorry to those in the close vicinity of my behind

I may have killed a couple of innocent nostrils on this flight.

16.   I am so young to die it’s ridiculous

Landing in Shanghai, now. Pleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrashpleasedon’tcrash. If I die, I wonder who will be the first to know in NZ and who will be the first to update their status in remembrance of me.

17.   It’s cold, and it’s sad

I haven’t been in China in nearly 4 years. It’s an awfully long time for me, ‘cause I used to go back and visit every summer holiday, but one day we decided not to. I miss my family sorely, especially Chelsea. And I’m in Shanghai, yet I can’t see them. So close, yet so far away.

18.   More cock-ups

I have a Chinese passport and apparently it can’t transfer, just go in or go out of China. Le WTF. Waited a while for the guys to get it fixed while I fixed mum’s folder. By that, I mean my mum had put in all the papers upside down, so if you held it up to read the contents, all the paper would fall out the bottom.

19.   WOO!

Free wifi!

20.   Boo…

Facebook, blogger, and everything else is blocked.

I could still get onto RT, though, but it’s really slow.

21.   First video

Lion and I did a video. It was funny and we lost a bit of dignity in front of everyone else, but alg. Also, Lion pranked me. That mofo.

22.   To Switzerland!

Leaving Shanghai now. I hope Swiss Air have good pilots.

23.   Some comments on Swiss Air

As I was walking through the aisle to my seat, I passed these seats that were spaced quite far apart and had a table/armrest next to them. I thought that we were gonna sit there but then after going through a curtain I saw all these seats squished together. Aw. That was the business class. It’s actually kinda shit for business class, and economy class is even worse. I guess I won’t be getting a lot of sleep on this flight.

24.   Intensity

Playing some hardout games of paper-scissors-rock with Lion atm.

25.   On this flight

We’ve sorted out what we’re gonna do to get used to the London time, which is 13 hours behind NZ, which means we’ll need to completely flip our body clock around. We can either sleep during this flight, or stay up till night in London, which means we’ll be staying up till 9am NZ time. To pass the time, instead of watching the shit movie on the shit quality screen on the shit Swiss Air plane, we’re gonna watch Lord of the Rings Trilogy HD on the iPad.

26.   Aragon

Is pretty hot for a 70 year old.

27.   I wish

I’d never watched Lord of the Rings before when I was younger and couldn’t understand half the movie. I wish I was watching it for the first time so that all the elements of surprise in it actually works for me. I love Lord of the Rings movies despite its length and it’s got such a good plot.

28.   Proud of NZ!

A lot of LOTR was shot in NZ ‘cause of the beautiful land. We are awesome.

29.   Legolas

Is also pretty hot for someone however-old-he-is.

30.   I just don’t get it

How do they manage to keep themselves so clean after non-stop battling and no showers? Their hair looks so nice and Legolas always manages to find the time to do two small French plaits along the side of his head and then bring it back into a half ponytail.

31.   LOTR is totally opposite to Twilight

I love LOTR because of many things, one of them being the acting in it. It’s so convincing, and never once does the movie make me feel like I’m watching a movie. I’m totally absorbed in it, you know. Also, the graphics are so awesome and are amazing for early 21^st century movies.

32.   Galadriel looks like my year 9 social studies teacher

Doesn’t Galadriel look a lot like Miss Pierard? (Only St Cuths people would know ofc)

Also, she’s got really pretty eyes and I love them when she does that small lip smile.

33.   In NZ, I would be sleeping right now

You know how in the morning you always have to go piss really badly ‘casue you’ve got a lot of piss in you? Well, that’s how it is for me, anyway. During my ZZZ time my kidney works extra hard and because on this flight my body SHOULD be sleeping, I’m going piss ever half an hour. Le WTF.

34.   Aragon

Is still pretty f**king hot for a 70 year-old. Who’s the actor?

35.   Swiss Air food

Sucks shit.

36.   I went to the toilet

And when I came back, I drank my salty, over sugared, thick apple juice. WHO DUH FUH SPIKED MA APPLE JUICE?!  Lion…

37.   Slow-mo shots

Of Aragon. Hot dayum.

38.   Least favourite movie out of the LOTR trilogy

Would have to be Two Towers.

39.   Legolas is so hax

He can do all this ninja shit and he’s not even ninja. Le WTF. And he can fight close range with bow and arrows. Le WTF. So OP. It seems he can never die.

40.   Gimly is adorable

He’s so  short and dumb (compared to Legalos and Aragon) and clumsy.

41.   I’m scared

I was watching the Return of the King, when I felt something slap my arm. At first I thought it was just one of those kids that were running all over the place bumping into my arm, but then that something hit me again and again. I turn around and right in front of my face, only inches away, was this little asian kid grinning at me. I was creeped out man. CREEPED OUT. She told me about how my mum knows her mum (my mum wasn’t sitting with me and Lion, she was sitting next to the kid and her mum).

 Then she kept on talking to me and I really didn’t want to talk to her ‘cause I wanted to watch the movie but she wouldn’t go away. She tried to make convo with me and was kept leaning over into my seat from the aisle. I don’t know what happened to my personal bubble;  she came so close she’d popped it. She was jumping and prancing and dancing all over the place even though she only stayed next to me.

 I finally turned my back to the iPad and talked back to her properly and she backed off a bit. She told me about how my mum told her mum about my drawing, and she told me about her colouring book, so I asked her if she could go and get it, ad show me. I got 30 seconds of the movie, then she was back again. Duh fuh? So quick. Anyway, she was showing me her colouring skillz (which were pretty good) and she got me to colour in stuff but I couldn’t even see the colour of the pencils. I would’ve liked to randomly coloured it in with random colours to get it over and done with but my art instincts took over and I actually tried to colour in properly. Hm. She just kept on talking and chatting to me, and I struggled to answer her with my primitive Chinese.

 At last, food came, so she had to go back. I didn’t really eat much ‘cause the instant noodles had made my stomach go all queasy. The food sucks shit anyway, so it wasn’t like it mattered.

42.   In Zurich

Stopped halfway through the 3^rd movie =o( oh well. It’s pretty cold. Like. FREEZING.

43.   My metal bracelet

Got caught in the metal detector :/ another cock-up.

44.   The Zurich airport

Is really claustrophobic and dark. The ceiling’s really lot and the lighting’s pretty dark. There weren’t a lot of people there in the airport when we arrived so it was kinda creepy, too. The signs were so misleading and WTF, and we went up and down the escalators looking for our gate which were right in front of the customs. Mum got pissed ‘cause we used the IPad so much and we had an arguments over the iPad.