WOO, le free wifi

Alright, so obviously we've been really quiet on the internet lately. That's 'cause our sim card only works in UK and there's barely any free wifi around here. Hogging the hotel one atm.

Here're some updates from a long time ago.

Post from Belgium, Brussels. I wasn't able to get onto blogger, so I wrote this up on FB, on the 18th of Dec.

"Well, it seems that I can't get onto any website apart from Facebook ('cause I've already loaded it and if I stay within FB boundaries I can surf this internet for free (I will never understand how FB works)) so I'll update a little here.

Yesterday we left London for Dover, which we left for Calais (in France), which we left for Brussels (in Belgium). Today, we left at 8 for Amsterdam (in duh Nederlands). Along the way, we saw some interesting stuff. Some palaces, some cathedrals, the tour was all in Chinese so I was totally confuzzled by what we were actually looking at. Like the arse of the horse statue which our bus was parked behind.
But it turned out it was some important statue in front of the palace. We saw the peace flame with all the rocks and stuff. China had a jade stone there. I'm guessing NZ had GREYWACKE (which looked total budget, btw).
We went to this diamond place, where we saw loads of diamonds. It was so shiny. This lady gave us a talk on how diamonds are made and then she showed us how they categorise the diamonds according to colour and clarity and showed us some real, cut, shiny diamonds. There was one where they'd carved a dragon into at the top, with something around the sides, and you had to use a magnifying thingy to see it, but it was too hard to find, so no one found it.
When we got to Amsterdam, we went on this boat and we went around the canals of Amsterdam. There're a lot of islands, and a lot of bridges. Like, hundreds of them. I took loads of pictures, and even stalked some of the rooms of the houses along the river. It was those really tall, narrow ones packed right next to each other, like apartments/terraces. Apparently they were built in the late 17th century ('tis very old).
Then we hung around in the city centre, waiting for dinner. We went to this mall full of rich as stuff. I walked into an LV store for the first time. Their products don't even look good. I don't get why it's so expensive when such a good brand produces bad-looking products. Anyway, that's just my opinion.
Dinner was totally awks. The evening before, we sat with a lively family, who happened to live in Auckland as well (!!! coincidence, much (most people live in London)), and these two nice ladies. They were really lively and we talked and chatted. But tonight, we didn't really talk much and there was this other girl who I wanted to talk with but my chinese sucks and she was probably 7 years older than me and I have no idea what 21 year old chinese people talk about so I just sat there awkwardly.
THEN CAME THE FUN AND INTERESTING PART. For the males, anyway.
As many of you know, Amsterdam is very well known for its liberality and freedom, and so, the Amsterdamians have been able to freely expand into the culture of redness and lights very deeply. There was a show on in the Red Light District and a surprising number of people went. It had this pink elephant as the symbol and it said something like "live blah blah porno show". I could feel Meilin Wu's envy at that moment.
Some adults actually went =O
As the show went on, the rest of us who didn't go just went around the RLD. I'm pretty sure the tour guide was doing this for himself rather than for the tour group, if you know what I mean.
For the next half hour, I had a pretty mean time looking at some sexy, brown bricks. They were totally hot and covered in seductive 4 year old gum, and were laid out all nicely in sexual right-angled patterns before me.
Then when we finally got back on the bus we had to endure the 2 hour ride from one country to another. Sleep was as crap as that on the airplane. It was really cold and I kept stealing Lion's coat. It would've been handy then to get some methane in the bus for spontaneous combustion to warm us all up, nicely.

AND I got back and it's really late and I'm really tired. GOOD NIGHT."

Day after that (19th Dec) we went to Karlsruhe, Germany.
TBH I can't really remember what had happened. I think we were in the bus most of the time. We had to get from Belgium, through Luxembourg, to Southwest Germany. We stopped at Luxembourg to look around and take some pretty pictures.
It snowed quite a lot, and around this time were the coldest few days during the tour. I was freezing in my double layer bottoms and 6 layer tops. Lion and I played snow fights. The snow was really nice and soft and fluffy and cold.
When we finally arrived at where we wanted to arrive, we arrived at a place where many people arrived at. We arrived at A BRIDGE. it was a nice bridge, and had a nice view of the city, and the water below us which we couldn't see, and a palace. Apparently it was a famous palace, but we couldn't go there 'cause it was too far away and too dark. So we just took some pretty picture of it, most of which were blurry 'cause of long exposure.
We went around the streets and we all came to this shop which sold souvenirs and other cool stuff. It seemed kinda shady, though. Mainly because it was managed by a chinese guy. A lot of the stuff he sold there were probably some cheap made in china crap that he's selling at rip off prices for. Then we went to this cool as German restaurant. It was so legit. I had all that old style to it, with the beams on the ceiling and the low lighting and stuff. It was duh shiz.
We ordered some sausages and this pork thing and beer for Lion. The pork was good, man. It was also duh shiz. It was the best pork I've ever tasted. It was pretty expensive though so we didn't order another one. BUT IT WAS SO GOOD OMG I WANT TO HAVE IT AGAIN.
After dinner we looked around at some expensive shops, came out with nothing, and went back to our rendezvous place to go to the hotel.

UGH it's really late and I need to get some sleep. We're in Roma, Italy right now and tonight's the first night of our 2 night stay. We just came in today from Venice, and before that we were in Vienna. Tomorrow we're going to Vatican city.

NO ABOVE-KNEE SKIRTS AND DRESSES ALLOWED.

You know you're in Amsterdam when

You get off the bus and straight away a pair of guys walk past shouting "WE ARE HOMO"

The flight

[Warning: mature content ahead]

Day 1

Awesome plane food, I’ve always loved airplaine food, they are so gourmet and legit. It has always been a highlight and probably the only thing I look forward to on the plane.

Sleep on the plane was next to shit, greedy corporatism fucking packs all the seats as closely as human biology allows. But what they didn’t consider is the ones out of the biological norms. There was no room for me to tuck my long legs everywhere. I had probably 6 different sleeping positions before I was worn out by the exhaustion. Not only that, cherry keeps invading my personal space, by leaning on my shoulder, but good thing there were barely any weight in her head *wink*. Last but not least, the bros in front of me watched homo Chinese movies the whole way and looking at the screen at 5am in the morning is like fucking staring in the sun.

To make the journey that much more unbearable, cherry kept doing the cow thing for the whole duration if you know what I mean. God, someone plug that shit up. I had to keep her away from the kids for the next flight. By the end of the flight, there was nearly enough methane in the cabin to trigger a spontaneous combustion.

Ipad was extremely useful. The screen in the plane was prehistoric, it might have been good 10 years ago, but now it’s like a piece of crap, literally, coz I can’t see shit on it. I tried watching ‘cowboys vs aliens’ which has like s20 mins pure night scenes, and the darkness can’t be shown on the poor LCD screens. Plus that movie was shit, so I resorted to ipad, which had HD videos and gg musics, which went extremely well with my $400 headset, a small consolation in such strenuous environment.

The turbulence in the flight was pretty scary, especially the prolonged ones. I couldn’t help but to feel ‘what if’, and the thought of plunging 13000 feet down to earth didn’t seem like an appealing idea at all.

When we were close to our first destination, Shanghai, I ninjaly slipped on my winter clothes, which involves going butt naked in the seat. Good thing the neighbours weren’t paying attention or I would be having a fun time explaining myself and my lewd behaviour.

After arriving at china, we chilled for two hours before boarding the flight to schwitzerland. The food on the flight was horrible, it made you feel how lucky you are to have Air NZ.

The power of ipad came alight as Cherry and I just tore our way through the Lord of the Ring trilogy extended version.

Sometimes during the movie, cherry went to 1 of her many journeys to the toilet. Annoyed by the frequent breaks, I decided to play a prank. I poured all the salt from lunch into her apple juice, which had like 2 sips left. But then my peaceful conscience came into play , so I tried the spiked drink, making sure it wasn’t too appalling.. the taste was terrible, it was like taking gulp after gulps of seawater. So I quickly emptied 2 sachets of sugar into the mix. By this time, I was beginning to worry that Cherry might be back soon while the drink was still full of powder, so I quickly mixed the drink. By the end of it, the drink looked thick, almost like a syrup, but at least the taste was bearable, but weird nonetheless. After cherry came back, I quickly beguiled cherry into drinking it under the pretence of a toast. And all thanks to the excuse of a videolog, I recorded her reaction.

After this episode, a random Chinese kid came and began hitting on cherry. She was about 7 years in age, very bubbly and began asking all sorts of question that a girl would ask. Like what do you think I should colour my bee? She appeared to be taking confidence in cherry almost instantly, and before you know it, she began whispering stuff into cherry’s ear while glancing at me, probably asking what’s wrong with my face. Well, fuck you.

After landing in Zurich airport after 15 hours, we went thru the usual procedure. The weather outside was gloomy, full of hills and gtreeneries, kinda like nz without the chill.

Oh their toilet entrance has an automatic door, fancy schmancy.

We are at Dover

Once again, apologies for the lack of updates. We're typing our posts up and a couple of long ones will be coming in to make up for all the lack of them over the past few days. Currently having lunch at Dover, before going on the ship to go across the English channel. English BK is rip-off. Also, the milk here is nice.

Just so you know

We're still alive.

Apologies for the lack of updates. We've been on 3 flights in a row and we couldnt update in the shanghai airport cause China blocked everything. Hogging free wifi ATM in the hotel (which sucks, so don't get excited).

We've done a couple of videos, and we both have a lot to tell, but we don't really have the time (the flights were most interesting). Been quite rushed, lately.

Going on some tour today to see some rock. Yay.

I just made Lion the author

and I've been watching him spend the last half hour or so typing up his post.

Meanwhile, I've changed the design of the blog and uploaded a background to show who's the boss.

EDIT: Dang, can't post this while Lion's typing his post up. HURRY UP, OI.

This is what the last post was supposed to be

Oh and before I go, I want to tell you about my secret million dollar account in the Switz bank, and the account number is...

Good, now I have your attention, I would just like to say a few words.


There's a saying, "Yesterday is a history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a present, and that is why we should treasure it." But I believe there is no point in pursuing a mystery and that is why...


This is the best way. This will solve all our problems. You can't hurt me furt


Please tell the children that I loved them always and that my love has never faltered. I grieve that I could not have had the joy of being ...


All of a sudden all will and determination to fight on has left


I want Dr. Dre and Sherlock Holmes to officiate at my funeral. I think they would make a great comedy duo toget...


P.S. I think there is enough insurance to see the kids through the REST OF THEIR LIVES!!!! (BOOYAH!!! Bet those sucker insurance companies didn't see this coming!! HE SHOOTS AND HE SCORES!!!!)...


The prospect of the kids flourishing because of my death almost makes me look forwar...


Remember that NO ONE is to look under the floorboard underneath Mr Luppy our dog's kennel, because I'm sure NO ONE would store anything down ther...


Okay!! Okay!!! I admit it!!! I (Cherry Yang) is so in luuuuve with Justin Bieb..

We say goodbye tomorrow night



P.S This is not a suicide note

We say goodbye tomorrow night

P.S. This is not a suicide note.